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One fitness product that has become a center of media attention recently is the Shake Weight. This is a hand-held dumbbell like weight with a spring on either end that you can shake. The claim is that this can help women get that lean, toned, un-bulky look to their arms and shoulders.  Plus the ability to rip a penis off a human torso in 38 seconds.  I saw it on youtube, not pretty.

The Shake Weight became famous after being mentioned on several TV shows, most notably the Ellen Degeneress show. Inside sources state that during shooting the director was heard giving direction to the effect that,"Whatever you do while using the Shake Weight, don't yawn".  Most of the TV time this product got was slightly on the comic side due to the slightly suggestive infomercial, but this says nothing about the quality and effectiveness of the product itself, so I am going to disregard it for the purposes of this article.  Does effectiveness really matter anyway?  Really?  By the time the idiots who buy this crap purchase their 3rd one cause the other 2 broke under the stress of animal husbandry, it won't matter they will all be living on a tropical island somewhere where there is no extradition.  Why didn't I think of this? 

Here are the claims of the Shake Weight:

• The Shake Weight works with a method called Dynamic Inertia in which you work your muscles by shaking the weight instead of lifting it.  Practically guaranteeing the hand job of a lifetime, or for Florida residents self-defense from Burmese Pythons.
• Comes in regular, and porn star size.
• Was shaped after Terminators Penis.
• Won't shoot your eye out.
• A scientific study showed that this product is more effective than regular weight training in the arousal of gym rats. I tried to find reference to the study on their website but couldn't so I don't know who conducted this research and what the exact findings were.  Other sources claimed the products creator was "Tired of her not touching it."
• That you can get terrific results in just 6 minutes a day.  ("That's what he said.")

I don't know anything about Dynamic Inertia as this is a concept that I believe was born with the invention of the hand job. Shaking an object certainly works the muscles, of that there is no doubt. Even shaking your arms in front of you without nothing in them does produce some stimulation.  But like the On Deck Circle at a baseball game eventually you have to let go of the substitute and shake a cock.

Whether this stimulation is more effective than traditional weight lifting is an open question. This is something that's very hard to measure as weight training can be done in so many fashions and variations that a simple comparison is just not accurate.  But if you're looking for other methods that look more suggestive Shake Weight wins hands down, then up, then down, then up, then, oh....excuse me I need some tissue.

So, the Shake Weight may be a fun product to use, and it certainly may be used at home pretty easily, but it's not better than dumbbells or a penis in producing lean muscle growth. That being said, this product does look like a lot of fun and may prove to be a new way to workout.  Attachments sold separately.  New feature coming soon, where weight tells you when work out is over by squirting you in the face.